The Lawn Mower Man

by Scott Jann and JJ Parker

He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows,
the lawn, a lot.

He's got a Toro riding, mulching mower.
When he mows his lawn,
He mows his lawn and he doesn't have to bag it.
So it goes into the Earth.
It's neat.  It goes into the Earth and helps it.
So it doesn't die,
and become a large floating ball of dust in the middle of space,
like the asteroid called Ceres.

He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows,
the lawn, a lot.

The grass grows a lot, so the lawn mower man has to mow it a lot.
The lawn mower guzzles a lot of gas,
so the lawn mower man has to fill it a lot.
Because the lawn mower man mows a lot.

He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows,
the lawn, a lot.

The lawn mower man mows because,
the lawn grows annoyingly fast,
so the lawn mower man must mow menacely.
So it really pisses his neighbors off,
especially when it's at 3:30 in the morning.

He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows,
the lawn, a lot.

The lawn mower man bought his Toro riding mulching mower because,
it can mulch up the people that the lawn mower man chops up,
they get recycled into the ground by the mower I spoke of.
Now they fertilize his lawn, that is the real reason it grows so fast.

Because of the:

heads,
arms,
legs,
hearts,
livers,
fingers,
toes,
knees,
elbows,
pancreases,
veins,
arteries,
raw muscle,
fat,
saliva,
blood,
white blood cells,
red blood cells,
skin,
fingernails,
lungs, and tracheas.

Which all combine into a yummy nutritious shake for the grass.

The grass really smells,
because of the rotting people in it.
who you can see still on the grass blades if you look close.
People say you will see the lawn mower man smooshing his feet in
the rotting smelling grass when he's not mowing it.
So now his neighbors know not to make fun of his
greatly growing green goup,
with rotting, smelling, disgusting, people-filled, grass.

He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows.
He's the lawn mower man, he mows,
the lawn, a lot.